The Guilt of Doing Nothing
I have a confession. I am really bad at doing nothing. Not bad at being lazy or binge-watching Netflix or scrolling social media longer than I intended. I’m bad at relaxing without guilt. There is a difference. Recently, I decided to take an entire day off. No bookkeeping, no networking, no catching up on emails. Just a day to myself. Sounds simple enough, right? Except I spent a good portion of that day feeling like I should be doing something else. The business could always use more attention in a hundred different ways. The truth is, my to-do list is never finished, and I don’t know what I would do if it ever was.
The Business Wasn’t the Hard Part
When I started my bookkeeping business less than a year ago at the age of 45, I already knew about the hard parts. Finding clients, selling my services, marketing myself, taking the risk of leaving a stable career, and betting on myself. Surprising to me, those weren’t the hardest parts at all. The hardest part was believing that I deserved to succeed.
I Didn’t Have the Luxury of Being Ready
People have asked me what it’s like to start a business in my mid-40’s. Is it scary? Hell, yeah. Every damn day. I question myself and wonder if I know what I’m doing. There are days I worry about money or compare myself to other business owners who I believe have it all figured out. I still catch myself waiting to feel ready. Ready to grow, ready to take the next step, ready to call myself successful.
My Inner Critic Is Named Susan
I call my inner critic Susan. I have no idea why she’s named Susan. She just is. Susan has opinions about everything. She tells me I’m not working hard enough. She reminds me of every mistake I’ve ever made. She loves comparing me to other women and informing...
Welcome to My Beautiful Mess
At 25, I had just married my first husband. Looking back, part of that decision came from a belief that no one else would want to marry me. I didn’t think highly enough of myself to believe I had many options. I thought marriage would finally help me get my life together. The funny thing is, I never got my life together, and I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.